Report Tuesday 14th May 2019

On Saturday morning 11th May, about 1500 alien-neanderthal estonians-replicants and some originals attacked Camp Paika, north of Balranald. Most of these individuals were carrying or were covered in the lethal worm-lizard-snakes brought from alien Planet Y06, a neanderthal planet near the Andromeda Galaxy about 20 million km distant.

Camp Paika was occupied by about 6,000 Regular and recently recruited ANZAC Military Force Personnel.

Had the replicants breached the perimeter of Camp Paika, the lethal worm-lizard snakes would have infected thousands of the ANZAC MF Personnel, and possibly hundreds would have died before they could be successfully treated.

Members of the the J9 Security-managed to form a ‘magic carpet’ under the attackers and levitated them away. They lifted them over the Tasman Sea and dropped. The salt water killed he worm-lizard-snakes and the attackers, most of whom were close to death from the toxin and injuries caused by the alien weapon of mass destruction.

Saturday, about 18:30 Hrs, Early hours of darkness. Into the Dining Room of the local hotel, now serving meals to Patrons , about 85 in number, walked about 35 neanderthal remnants-survivors of the Camp Paika attack (above). They were still mostly carrying or covered with the lethal worm-lizard-snakes. They threw the worm-lizards around at the Patrons, over the bar of the Dining Room and at the Staff. Most of Diners knew what the worm-lizards were, several took out guns and shot a number of the neanderthals. One of the neanderthals, obviously near to death, put the barrel of his gun in mouth and pulled the trigger. Another, armed with a light-weight automatic weapon began firing at the roof. Several others of the neanderthals fired at the Publican, Staff and Patrons, injuring some and killing others.

After 10 minutes of this mayhem, with worm-lizards golloping about the floor, entering the bodies of the diners, the neanderthals left the Dining Room and went back onto the side street. Possibly by some prior agreement they put he muzzles of their hand-guns in their mouths and pulled the triggers.

Mass suicide, bodies higgedly piggedly on the footpath and in the street, blood on the bitumen and in the gutters, and hundreds, possibly thousands of lethal worm-lizards loose in the tow. Local Citizens, Passersby, Travelers, Tourists, man, woman or child, have been infected and consumed, the alien weapons of mass destruction do not discriminate.

Camp Paika has relocated, the Hotel is now closed for several weeks-possibly months, numerous of the Diners, unable to get appropriate treatment, have died. About 38 neanderthal bodies were found about the entrance of the Hotel, and inside the Dining Room. Twelve Patrons were found shot dead inside the Dining Room, one a pregnant women with a badge on her blouse, ‘I’m Going to Vote LIB/NP’.

By the time the situation stabilized and decisions were made to do something with the dead’uns, all had been occupied by the worm-lizards. A mass grave was dug in the local mufti-deminational Cemetery, and all were buried, without ceremony or prayers, then hurried covered with deep layers of soil.

Lethal worms-snakes have been found all around the town, and all around the district.


The autumn break has begun and farmers have began to sow this season’s crop. The Bureau of Meteorology is forecasting good rain this winter. The town’s State School has been severely damaged by warfare, and now the children, eager to learn, are having home lessons. The hospital is unusually busy. One of the local tythe collectors or fund-raisers had forced them to pay about $A80,000 per year from its budget, so the services it provided were minimal. However, with the hundreds of recent lethal worm-lizard infections, they have been doing a booming trade at $A100 a treatment, three at least necessary to survive. The tythe collector, phoned and Administrator and told him wanted his share of the take.

Interstate transport semi-trailers pass through the town on their way to and from Adelaide and Sydney, a distance of about 1500 km, mostly driving non-stop. The trucks are owned by the local mien herrs, the drivers were previously owners, but a beretta pressed against their forehead quickly convinces them it’s better, no responsibility after-all, to be a driver.

With the hotel closed for maybe a month, the local Catholic Social Club (to be a member it’s necessary to know how to hold hands-preferably in 12 different language groups), formerly the RSL Club, will make-up the shortfall in serving meals.

Of course, the local lads, survivors of local football and catholic school shower-room romeo and juliet socialization, call out as they walk past the RSL, ‘Hey there, who’s the guest of honor tonight, who’s on the menu, someone we know?’ and then run faster than Winx, anonymous and out of reach.

As this is written, I ask myself, who really is responsible for this insanity? Who should we hold to account?